ISS JUNGLE SE MUJHE BACHAO

I received a text from my friends saying that Akash got involved in yet another altercation. Now you must be thinking who Akash is. Must be one of our common friends? Right? Wrong. We do not have any friend named Akash. Then who is this mystery man Akash who got the attention of my otherwise nescient friend, as far as television is concerned. Anyway I asked again who Akash is. And this time he couldn’t bear it and chastised me.
You don’t know Akash? How can you be so dumb? Are Akash yaar ISS JUNGLE SE MUJHE BACHAO wala. And that is how I got into this stuff called Iss Jungle Se Mujhe Bacho.
Anyway now when I got into it I find it very fascinating. Not in terms of the entertainment it provides or the emotional roller coaster that swings and sways that too at breathtaking pace, that leaves you bewildered, awed and not to mention “entertained” and celebrities drained.
The show is approaching its end and as the hosts put it, it would be a very eventful week and the last one coming after it. And trust me guys it is going to a very eventful week, the one coming and the ones that have passed for the psychologists and psychiatrists as well. The show is providing enough fodder for all these guys to get an insight into the psyche of candidates or humans for that matter.
The interesting thing to note about the show, apart from the entertainment dose it provides, is that how people crack under stress. A look at Akash or Mona or Anaida or-the new member of the group- jay will tell you the whole story. But my personal favorite is Akash. It is only interesting to note that no matter how much we claim of being civilized or different from our ancestors, but once you put a bunch of Homo sapiens at one place they present you with the best zoo visit you have ever had in your life. They’ll shout and fight and abuse each other. Ready to cannibalize and take each other’s place. They have long forgotten the basic value of human being; harmony and emotions and feelings; that separate humans from animals but our very own television celebrities are giving a run for their money to animals.
The debate of supremacy in animal tree has once again started and it is looking ever stiffer, with Homo sapiens having an edge at the moment. I am still confused whom to support, on whom to put my money on.
While I am munching my chips and pondering over this, Akash, my hero is into another fracas. Go Akash. Go Akash. I have made up my mind; I’ll put my money on Homo Sapiens. You guys also go and pick your favorites but trust me it’s really difficult to beat us. This show is set for over the edge thriller. Its uber cool, uber fun, and in vogue.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

It is 14^th feb 2015. I am in the dark by lanes of a filthy area. And we are hailing the SRS, VHP, BD. Trust me if you want to survive you need to do this. The lane is full of contrived faces, who are trying to cover their lament.

It has been 5 years since we have celebrated valentine’s day or friend’s day, mother’s day, father’s day, rose day, or any other day for that matter. I personally have not seen female gender for 1 year now. They are a rarity these days and the only females you got to see are in your own houses.

People have stopped roaming out, there is a general sense of despair, foreign tourists have stopped coming to India, people are spending a gloomy, dull and dismal lives. It is only VHP, SRS and BD and their self avowed moral raj(rather goonda raj) that are ruling the roost.

Picture looks dingy but could be a reality if we don’t put a check on these self proclaimed moral police and saviour  of Indian culture and their destruction of anything and everything that is UNINDIAN.

So friends time has come when we go all out with more spunk, more vigour, more charisma and more chutzpah to tell these pontificating and pedantic bastards that we have set ourselves free from the bounds of slavery and nobody, I mean NOBODY, can dictate their terms on us. A very interesting instance needs to be mentioned here and  that is about Mrs. Renuka Choudhary, union women and child development minister, who has called a PUB BHARO ANDHOLAN, which I think is a befitting reply to these morons. So guys, if we need to, lets fill the pub this valentine’s day and show these trash cans that that we are indeed free by all means!!!!! HAPPY VALENTINE”S DAY!!!!

CELL PHONES..

It is around 1 o'clock in the afternoon and i am standing at Rambagh Circle in jaipur. The light is red so it provides me an opportunity to look around here and there in case i find an interesting piece for EASY BAKAR.

And guess what i did.(of course thats why i am here stupids!!!). I am standing in between a branded, heavily billed luxury car and a city transport bus. 

I first turned towards my right where the luxury car is. I found a well dressed, heavily paid man sitting on the wheel. He was checking his CELL PHONE, probably surfing the net, checking his mail or sending a multimedia message to a friend on his communicator.

When i turned towards my left to look at the city bus, i found bus driver talking on his CELL PHONE.

Now thats the beauty of a cell phone, it just doesn't believe in discrimination. If it looks good in the hands of the rich then it equally gets flaunted in the hands of the poor. Besides being an instrument used for communication, bridging the people, making them realiase their expressions, text messages(that wonderfully revolutionary technique called shor messaging system), multimedia messages, not to mention the style quotient and other n number of uses it can provide; a cellphone is a marvellous indicator as a whole.

It indicates the distance we have travelled. From being a country of poor, who did not have basic amenities, to a country that boasts a middle class almost as big as the total population of United States. This middle class is eventually making  India the 3rd largest cellular using country and we are really close behind China. Where you just had one phone in the entire region and where you had to connect to the operator for making trunk calls and trunk calls itself were the major swanking factor; having mobile phones in virtually everybody's hand is really a telling story. This same fact is aptly mentioned by Shashi Tharoor, the great writer and a diplomat, in his book "The Elephant, the Tiger, & the Cell Phone".

So next time you see a man talking loudly on a cell phone by your side, dont get bogged down, the man is simply reiterating the already established phenomenon- India is really scaling new heights daily!!!!!!  

Who says the voting system is Flawed???

So again I get something by mail which I think is worth sharing. I dont know how true it is but I want all my lawyer friends to check it and tell me. Here it goes......

Did you know that there is a system in our constitution, as per the 1969 act, in section "49-O" that a person can go to the polling booth, confirm his identity, get his finger marked and convey the presiding election officer that he doesn't want to vote anyone!

Yes such a feature is available, but obviously these seemingly notorious leaders have never disclosed it. This is called "49-O".

Why should you go and say "I VOTE NOBODY"... because, in a ward, if a candidate wins, say by 123 votes, and that particular ward has received "49-O" votes more than 123, then that polling will be cancelled and will have to be re-polled. Not only that, but the candidature of the contestants will be removed and they cannot contest the re-polling, since people had already expressed their decision on them. This would bring fear into parties and hence look for genuine candidates for their parties for election. This would change the way, of our whole political system... it is seemingly surprising why the election commission has not revealed such a feature to the public....

Incase its so true then all the people who think that voting doesnt solve the problem can give a second thought to that nail paint. Because that nail paint is in VOGUE!!!!

Use your voting right for a better INDIA. Jai Hind.